The Christmas Wish
by LoVefan 32
Summary: Takes place in season 7 between Gemini and Veritas. A Christmas story where Lex finally fights his demons (or should I say ghosts) and gets true happiness. Please read and review. I love reviews!
1. Chapter 1

The Christmas Wish

Lex was standing in his study looking out the window as he watched the snow envelope the town in white. He never liked Christmas to begin with but Lana had insisted last year that they celebrate and Lex grudgingly complied. Lana had done her best to help him enjoy the festivities but he was never completely at ease. He wasn't sure if it was the fact that there was so much giving and receiving from people that were perfect strangers or if it was the fake happiness people displayed at receiving gifts they clearly had no use for, or if it was the fact that he knew Lana was faking happiness just as much as everyone else. Now that she was gone from his life he would give anything to see her fake happiness so that he could at least pretend his dreams had come true. He moved to the bar to pour himself some scotch and he sighed. Perhaps losing her was the reason he was working so hard lately, on the weekends and on the holidays. He was trying desperately to distract himself from the loneliness that threatened to consume him. On this Christmas Eve he was happier than usual because project Gemini was coming so close to becoming a reality, that he had ask Dr. Wilson to present him with her results. _Soon he may not have to be lonely, he thought, if he couldn't earn, buy, or steal love for himself he would create it. A perfect human being that would provide him with what he had always been denied from those closest to him._ At first he was going to clone Lana and if she ever left him he could at least pretend she was there and that she loved him. However, that dream ended when she stole Model 503 from him. If he couldn't have the love of his life he would re-create the childhood that he never had. He would clone his brother Julian and give him memories of a childhood he never got the chance to live.

Dr. Wilson was not too happy to be coming in on Christmas Eve and Lex knew he shouldn't ask her to but it was the only thing that would make his Christmas bearable. He walked over to the desk and began to shuffle through the paperwork in an attempt to prepare for their meeting but he was having trouble concentrating. Dr. Wilson tended to have that effect on him although he wasn't quite sure why. If it was her piercing deep blue eyes that could look right into his soul without even trying or her beautiful red hair that reminded him of his mother or the fact that she could beat him at any battle of the wits and she knew it. Dr. Kate Wilson had been his only choice to lead the Gemini project. She was the leading researcher around the globe in human genetics as well as Neurosurgery. She graduated top of her class with a double major at Princeton with a degree in Genetics and Neuroscience and went on to study medicine at Northwestern. She was the best and Lex always got the best. Her ethics were also impeccable and given the many scandals that LuthorCorp had been involved in Lex didn't want to take the chance that if this project became public it would not be tarnished with questionable medical procedures. Dr. Wilson insisted that the project be done her way with little interference from him. He can still remember when he met her at the prestigious World Health Organization's annual new age science conference.

Flashback:

"Ladies and Gentleman, we are on precipice of a medical breakthrough. My research has indicated that cloning and genetic modification may hold the cures for incurable deceases such as cancer, sickle cell and Down syndrome. While I realize human cloning can be viewed by some as playing God, let me assure you gentleman that perhaps it is." Kate laughed a little and continued, "However, I ask you-if we were never intended to make these scientific discoveries than why did God provide us with the knowledge and the tools to do so? I believe we can be his vessel and although there are many that would use this type of power for selfish ventures I assure you that I will always put the greater good of the people before I would allow any harm to come to anyone involved in my research. I believe my record speaks for itself. I do not want to play God; I only want to act as a vessel to save the world. Thank you again for hearing me out and I appreciate any donations to fund this research as it doesn't come for free, Gentleman and Ladies." She stepped down from the podium and walked over to her table as the crowd began to disperse.

She was well aware of the kind of scrutiny she was under for advocating this type of research but she had to stand up for her belief that if she couldn't cure her own heart than she would try and cure others. She looked up from the table and saw him approaching. She smirked a little because she knew he would show up sooner or later. That is whole reason she came to this event. She knew everything about him and she couldn't wait to finally meet him in person. Lex Luthor – she did her research and knew about his obsession with family and his need for love in his life. At first she was planning on using it as a tool to get him to fund her research completely. But the farther she dug into his life the more fascinated she became and fascination eventually turned into empathy and empathy to love. As crazy at it sounded she was head over heels in love with a man she had never met. She knew that he would understand her and her research. After all, he had a God complex too. While she knew he would have ulterior motives in funding it, she didn't care as long as he didn't let those motives interfere with her research and she was going to make that perfectly clear before she agreed to his investment. She needed to feel like she could save the world and so did he and that made them perfect partners. Oh she knew he was engaged and that their relationship would be nothing but professional she couldn't help but stare at the bald billionaire and feel the urge to tell him that if everyone in his life had deserted him she would be there-and she was real not a dream and not a clone but a real chance. Lex stared at her intense eyes and felt a bit uncomfortable. The girl standing in front of him was stripping him down to his bare soul and he didn't like it one bit.

Clearing his throat he brought her out of her daze and said "Dr. Wilson that was an incredibly persuasive speech there. You had me at playing God."

She laughed and said "Well Mr. Luthor I am glad you were enticed, you of all people should understand that while we are but a lame substitute for God, we can be his disciples." She said.

Lex looked at her trying to read the expression on her face. "Creating human life is the old fashioned way was God's solution to pro-creation, but creating life through cloning and genetic alterations is man's way of improving God's solution. Dr. Wilson."

"Who said there is anything wrong with the old fashioned way?" she asked and winked at him. Lex smiled-she was clever and beautiful and he was intrigued. Although he would never admit it-he had Lana and that is what he wanted.

"Nothing, but it leaves life to chance and I prefer to be in control of my own destiny, don't you Dr. Wilson?"

"And others you mean, you would be in control of all the people you created as well. Now that is a dangerous line Mr. Luthor. She said as she pulled some paperwork out of a folder. "Shall we get down to business and discuss the terms of our arrangement." She said as she handed him the paperwork.

He looked a bit surprised at the fact that she already knew he wanted to invest in her research and judging by the paperwork she anticipated he would want to be the exclusive investor. He looked at her questioningly, "Dr. Wilson, how did you know that I would want to invest in your research and that I would insist on these terms?"

She gave him a knowing smile, "Because I know what you crave Lex, and I know that you think I can help you get it." She stepped closer to him so that their faces were inches apart and lowered her voice. "I can help you Lex, just not in the way you think." She said. He looked into her blue eyes again and wondered what she meant by that? Had she been one step ahead of him all this time? He would have to keep a close eye on her because she was obviously smarter than he thought. "Okay, let's say I believe you can help-what is it you want in return?" He asked skeptically. A woman this cunning must want something from him. What her answer was surprised him even more. She bent over and whispered in his ear-"Nothing." She said. She pulled away and handed him the pen on the table.

"I just have one condition of our partnership; you stay out of the science. I have done my homework on you, Mr. Luthor and I know you have a tendency to get too involved in projects and something always goes wrong when you do. This is too important of research to have it screwed up by an overzealous billionaire trying to gain approval. I will run the project and make all the decisions. While am not entirely convinced that the rumors are true about you and LuthorCorp, I do not want my name dragged through the mud simply because I am associating myself with you."

Lex feigned innocence, "Of course not, Dr. Wilson, I appreciate the vote of confidence." "Call me Kate- since we will be working closely together we should be on a first name basis don't you think?" She flashed him a warm smile and he was hooked. He wouldn't let himself admit it but here was a women who was as savvy as he in business and yet a perfect angel all at the same time. They shook hands and the deal was made.

Present day-Back at Lex's study

Lex had thought back to the months they had worked together and how their relationship grew from partners to friends. Very similar to the way his relationship with Lana grew only he did nothing to this one to manipulate the situation, it just happened on its own. He had a suspicion that Kate might feel something more for him and of course he was attracted to her but he was with Lana at the time. Now of course, nothing was stopping him from pursuing anything with her except himself.

Flashback:

Kate was sitting at her desk going through some paperwork she needed to submit to the government along with her latest report on the cloning results. Lex had insisted on seeing the results before she submitted them to be sure there was nothing incriminating about the report. Not that there was, she took special care with this project to be sure it was all above board. She never met anyone more paranoid in her life! Although she didn't blame him with all that he had been through how could he really feel that he could trust anyone. It was so bad that he had approached her a month ago asking her to clone his dead brother as her next experiment. She initially thought it was a bad idea because it was too close to home but the look on his face told her how desperate he was to have someone in his life to cling to. It was at that moment that she truly fell in love with him. Oh sure she had always had an infatuation with him, hence the reason she wanted to work with him but this, this started to get real. She knew from her research the tragic story of Julian died and how Lex became bald and his father…his father she had the unfortunate pleasure of meeting the man when she first began her research and boy was he a piece of work! The man had manipulation down to an art. She saw the way he treated Lex not as a son but as some abstract threat that he had to vanquish any way possible. He constantly reminded Lex every chance he got that he wasn't deserving of love and that he was never going to be good enough. And if he wasn't verbally abusive he was going behind Lex's back to undermine any of his accomplishments. He even had the guts to imply that Lana, Lex's wife at the time really didn't love him but was marrying him to protect Clark. Kate didn't know much about Lex's relationship with Lana but from what he told her he loved her more than his own life. Lionel knew that and he used it against Lex. Over the months that she was working with him she had done her best to gain his trust and he started to open up to her a bit. He told her about his marriage to Helen and how she betrayed him and that Lionel had him committed as a result. Between the women in his life and his father she didn't blame Lex for wanting to clone his dead brother. He figured if he couldn't get love from any one real he would create someone! Kate tried hard to keep her feelings for Lex to herself, especially when he was with Lana but it was getting harder to do now that Lana was out of the picture. However, she knew that Lex had closed himself off and she wasn't sure she could ever reach him now. She saw the devastation he felt when Lana had betrayed him and then went crazy and tried to kill him too. She probably should take that as a warning. Anyone who gets involved with Lex ends up going crazy but she didn't think it was his fault at all. As sad as it is, they just never truly loved him. If they did, she thought they could have forgiven him for whatever he had done to cause the heart break.

She was interrupted from her thought by the intercom that buzzed. "Dr. Wilson, there is a Clark Kent here to see you?" Kate sighed-she was anticipating his visit but hoped it would come later rather than sooner. "Send him in Jennifer." She said as she got up from the desk. Clark entered the room with a big smile on his face.

"Clark, it's great to finally meet you, your mother has spoken very highly of you and if you are anything like her then I am sure you are worthy of the praise." Kate said as she shook his hand. Clark blushed and sat down as Kate gestured toward the couch in front of them. "Thank you" He said.

"Well Clark your mother informed me that there are some concerns in Washington about my research and I hope to put an end to those by talking with you today." Kate told him as his smiled disappeared. As they continued their discussion Lex had arrived in the hall for their update. He knew he was early and Jennifer ask him to wait as Kate was finishing up another meeting. Jennifer had gotten up from her spot by the phones to go to the washroom and Lex couldn't help but easedrop on the conversation. The walls were thin.

"Dr. Wilson, the concern here is that you are working with Lex Luthor on this project and his ethics are not exactly in line with the kind of research the government will support." Clark said as he handed her an envelope.

Kate sighed, yet another former friend who had given up on Lex to soon. "Look, Clark I appreciate the concern but I can assure you that this project is all above board. Lex just rights the checks. That was our agreement when I started. I told him that he was not to interfere with the science." Kate said looking Clark in the eye. "That may be, but you can't trust him, he always has an ulterior motive." Clark said getting a bit more agitated.

"Clark, I know all about Lex Luthor, I do thorough research on anyone I am considering doing business with. The truth is I don't blame him one bit for any of the mistakes that he's made in his life or his questionable business practices. I blame those people who claimed to care about him so much and then turned their backs on him the minute he screwed up." Kate said directing her gaze at Clark. She was trying to make him feel a little guilty.

"Kate you don't know Lex like the rest of us. I know you feel bad for him but you can't let him suck you into his games." Clark replied trying desperately to get through to her.

"Clark is this about me going into business with him or my personal relationship with him because at this point I can't tell." She questioned. "Look, Kate the government will not approve your research unless Lex Luthor is out of the picture and as far as your personal relationship with him, all I can say is be careful, he destroys everything that he touches." Clark said as he stood up from the couch.

Kate walked over to the desk and grabbed the report she had been working on. "Clark, I think this report speaks for itself on the subject of ethics so I would appreciate it if you would give it to your mother to present to the Senate. If the government can't see the benefits to this project because they have some misguided notion that Lex is running the show then screw them! He and I will continue the research without their approval. And as for Lex destroying everything he touches, I think it's the other way around. Because what I see is that everyone in his life has betrayed him and that has destroyed him." Kate said as she handed Clark the envelope.

Clark looked at her and saw right through the wall she had erected around her heart. "You are in love with him, aren't you?" He asked in a defeated tone. Kate was taken back a little by Clark's candor considering they had just met. "Clark, whatever my feelings for Lex, I would never let that interfere with my work. Besides, I gave up the idea a long time ago that I could ever be happy, that there was someone out there for me. I have my work and that's enough." She walked over to the door and turned the nob.

Outside, Lex had been listening the entire time. His suspicions were confirmed. He was touched that she had defended him and that it seemed she understood him better than anyone, even Lana. He had always wondered why a beautiful and smart girl like her wasn't already married with children. Lex stepped away from the door. _There must be more to the story than I thought._ Kate opened the door and shook Clark's hand as he stepped out of the office. Clark stoped and stared when he saw Lex and the two men looked at each other with resentment for a moment until Clark left the office. Kate turned to Lex and said "Hey there boss, you ready to have your mind blown!" He cocked his eyebrow and smirked, "I think I just did" He said as they walked into the office together.

Present:

He didn't deserve the kind of happiness he always dreamed of. After what happened with Lana, he realized that she was his last chance and he blew it. He had always thought he was making decisions to protect the people around him but they never saw it that way. They always somehow twisted his intentions around to make him out to be the bad guy. Then of course, there was the fact that he tried to have a normal relationship with a Doctor once upon a time and that almost got him killed. Lex sighed and walked back over to the bar to refill his scotch. He took a huge swig and went back to the window. No, he would lock his heart up again and this time he would not make the mistake of letting it out. Sure, he had needs but those could be fulfilled easily with any bimbo off the street but real love would always be illusive to him. If it wasn't the outside world keeping him from what he truly needed it was his own nature that would hold him back. He decided the only way he could get what he wanted was to create someone, anyone, who he could control and force them to love him with no questions ask. Hence, the reason he was so interested in cloning.

"Well ba hum bug to you too boss. I really appreciate the fact that you interrupted me on my way to the many Christmas parties I was planning on attending." Kate said sarcastically, as she entered Lex's study and saw him drinking alone on Christmas Eve without even a lit tree to remind him of the season. She had faked anger when he had asked her to meet him today for a business meeting but the truth was she had nothing better to do today anyway. Every Christmas she drove up by herself to her parent's cabin in the woods and would spend the day remembering the happy memories that were made there with her and her brother and mom and dad. That was before the accident at the LuthorCorp plant that took both her parents. She came to him today because she didn't really feel like spending another Christmas alone and she figured deep down he had a similar reason that he ask her to come.

Lex turned around and smiled as she came toward him and they embraced in a hug. Every time she got close to him she savored the smell of his Armani musk cologne. When they finally broke away from each other Lex cocked his eyebrow in confusion "What does ba-hum bug mean?" He asked her as they walked over to the couch.

"Wait-don't tell me you have never seen A Christmas Carol?" she asked. "It's a classic and it happens to be the story of your life." She said as she laughed a little.

"Really, well I must get around to watching it sometime." He was intrigued. "Okay, well, I'll tell you what, you can watch it with me tonight." She said apprehensively.

Lex looked at her a little more seriously. "Look, Kate, I am not really the Christmas type, the holidays always seem to remind me of how alone I really am." Kate watched him as his eyes became distant. That was it; she had enough of all this self-pity and doubt. It was Christmas for heaven sake it was time to be merry. "Lex, I don't care what type you are. You deserve to have a little fun in your life and I for one am not going to have you and I sitting here feeling sorry for ourselves and wasting a perfectly good snow when we could be out on the slopes."

Kate said as she stood up and put the papers down on the table. Lex was surprised that she was the type to ski but he should never underestimate an east coast girl. "What about all those parties you had to get to?" He questioned as he stood up and walked towards the window where she was standing.

"Ha, ha…they can do without me for a night. Same boring people and places. Besides I was thinking about heading up to my parents Lodge near Colorado Springs and since I don't want to go alone this year, you are coming with." She turned toward him and grabbed his arm before he had a chance to respond.

"Kate, I really don't think that is a good idea I have a lot of work to do and…" "Lex," she stopped him mid- sentence "We both know that you will not be working but sitting hear drinking your sorrows away pinning after Lana and I will be at the lodge having a pity party of my own so if we are going to feel sorry for ourselves then we might as well do it together." She turned just as she let go of his arm and saw his face grow white at the mention of Lana.

"Lex, I never told you how sorry I was about Lana. I know how much you loved her." Kate said as they both stood in the middle of the study not taking their eyes off one another.

"I don't think she ever loved me, how could she after what I did to her."

"Lex, if she didn't love you then that was her loss. Look I know you think that you don't deserve love but everyone deserves to be loved. I understand why you did what you did- it was selfish- but it was out of love none the less." Kate said still keeping her eyes on him.

"Kate, can you honestly say that if you were in her position you wouldn't hate me either?" Lex asked not daring to hope that she might be telling the truth.

"I wouldn't hate you Lex, I would be angry but if it was me, it would only make me try even harder to convince you that I wasn't going anywhere and that no matter what I would always be there." She said swallowing an uncomfortable lump in her throat.

He stepped closer to her getting lost in her blue eyes. "Kate, I don't think I can give you what you are asking for." He said, knowing that he wasn't ready to break another heart with his selfish need to be loved. She took another step toward him so there faces were now inches apart. "But I can give you what need, Lex" she hesitated and then said "Fun, we both deserve to have some fun!" She said as she pulled back from him leaving a surprised look on his face. She grabbed his hand again and started to rush him out the door of the study.

"That is why you are coming with me to my parents lodge and I don't want to hear another word about it. I'll give you some time to pack an overnight bag and I'll be waiting in the car." She said with a big smile. Lex was about to protest again but he knew she was right. Fun really wasn't in his vocabulary but he knew it would be fruitless to argue with her. Lex admired her because in a lot of way she was like him. When she wanted something she got it, she saw greys in the world and most importantly she needed to be loved. The difference was that she was the light and he was the dark and the last thing he wanted was to drag her down the way he did everyone else in his life. She stood there watching him stare at her and wondered what he was thinking.

"Lex, go upstairs and get ready, we are leaving in a half an hour." She said snapping him out of his thoughts. "Yes boss." He said as he smiled at her before he turned and walked up the stairs. This was going to be the best Christmas he ever had and she was going to make sure that no matter what happened this weekend that he would always remember her gift of Christmas.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2: The real thing

The drive up to the cabin was slow due to the bad weather. Kate and Lex tried to keep the conversation light as neither of them wanted to bring up the elephant in the room. Finally at about 3:00 p.m. they arrived at the cabin. Lex got out of the car and grabbed the bags as Kate fumbled with her keys to open the door. Lex stopped at the doorway and dropped the bags. He surveyed the room and was afraid to step in because it made him feel like he was in a dream. In the living room there was a large fireplace decorated with gold bells and greenery and next to it was a large tree that almost took over the whole room. It was lit up and had lots of presents under it. Beyond the living room was the kitchen that had mistletoe under the entrance arc in the wall and then was decorated with greenery all around the room. The kitchen led to the hallway which had a small Christmas Village that lined it placed strategically on shelves throughout the hall. The hall led to the bedrooms where Lex preceded to take the bags. Each of the three bedrooms had a mini fireplace that was decorated with the same gold bells as the main one and each had a mini tree next to the fireplace. Lex put the bags on the bed and walked back to the kitchen.

"Someone is overly enthusiastic about Christmas." He said.

Kate turned to him and said "Well most people aren't scrooges" She said as she walked toward the bedroom. She turned to face him again, "I always come up here a week before to decorate. That way it is all set for the holidays. It was a Wilson family tradition when my parents were alive. We all came together." She looked at him with a sad smile and continued, "You can take the room across the hall. Sorry there is only one bathroom but we weren't made of money like some people!" He rolled his eyes at that comment. "Come on let's get out on those skis and see what you got." She said cocking her eyebrows in a challenge.

He smirked, "Be careful most people who challenge a Luthor, always regret it later."

"I'll take my chances, now get changed and I'll meet you outside. Something tells me you don't want to ruin that Armani suit of yours in the snow." She said as she walked into the bedroom and closed the door.

Out on the slopes they had several races in which Kate won. Lex used the excuse that he hadn't been skiing since the time he and his dad and his mother went out to his grandmother's farm in Montana. When Kate finally decided to slow down and let him catch up he ran right into her and they both tumbled into each other. They landed on the soft snow with Lex lying on top of her and their faces inches away. They stood looking at each other for a moment and then Lex grabbed her hand and lifted her to a sitting position. They both laughed.

"I am sorry, Kate I guess I am a lot more rusty than I thought." He said as he stood up and brought her with him.

"It's okay Lex, you actually made it sound like there was going to be a competition earlier but the way you have been going you'd be lucky to race in the beginner's league." She said as they walked over to the bench.

Lex was a bit frustrated as he wasn't used to losing and he didn't like to be a disappointment. "Well I am sorry to disappoint you Kate but it appears that I am a failure at yet another thing in my life." He said as he sat down next to her. She looked at him as her smile disappeared and she got more serious.

"Lex, I am sorry- I didn't mean it that way." She said taking off her skis. She turned to him and brushed his face with her hand. "You are not a failure at anything, in fact quite the opposite. You always get what you want no matter what obstacles stand in your way. I sometimes question your ethics but you still find a way to protect what you hold most precious. That my friend is anything but a failure."

Lex took her hand in his. "A lot of good it's done me. I have no friends, no parents and no wife." He gave her a sad smile.

"Lex, you are misunderstood and judged on a daily basis just for being who you are and if people don't take the time to get to know you the way I have then it's their loss." She replied as she shivered. "It's cold, let's go inside and get some hot cocoa and watch a Christmas Carol. It's high time you see that it's never too late to change the path you are on." Kate said as she got up from the bench and Lex grabbed her hand to stop her. "I appreciate the faith you have in me Kate but I am afraid that I may let you down just as I have everyone else in my life." He said following her into the cabin.

"Lex, I understand why do the things you do. The world isn't black and white as Clark and the others see it. Sometimes to protect the people we love we have to things that we wouldn't normally do. It's the greys in the world that make us who we are. You could never let me down." She said as she turned toward the kitchen. "You go have a shower and I'll get the hot chocolate and the movie ready."

Lex nodded in agreement and walked into the bathroom and shut the door. He turned the shower on and took off his clothes. He stepped in and let the warm water pour down his skin. He wondered to himself when the other shoe was going to drop. He had tried hard to suppress his paranoia but now when he was alone he let his doubts get the best of him. He knew that Kate's parents had died and he knew that they died in a LuthorCorp plant explosion when he had been managing the plant. He occasionally wondered if that was why Kate had agreed to work with him because she had some master plan up her sleeve and that maybe she ask him here to hold him hostage and try to get her revenge on him for the death of her parents. He shook the water off his body and turned the shower off. She never indicated to him that she blamed him but sometimes when she looked at him she had a look of disappointment. Why wouldn't she want to get revenge for his selfishness, everyone else around him did? He thought back to the conversation they had earlier about doing what it takes to protect those you love. Maybe she knew that he was being blackmailed at the time and that he had done everything he could to protect the people at the plant but they had to pay for him just being who he was, a Luthor, and he ultimately couldn't do anything to escape that. If she knew, she had told him in so many words that she understood. He put on a clean shirt and a pair of jeans.

It was the only pair he owned and he usually wore them for riding and stepped out of the bathroom only to see her sitting on the couch with a cup of hot chocolate staring into the Christmas lights. He came up behind her "A penny for your thoughts." He said as he sat down and put his hand on her arm.

She turned to face him. "I was just thinking about the last Christmas we spent here a year before the accident. For years I had wanted a very expensive diamond ring that I had seen. My father always said that that ring was for the husband that I would one day have to put on my finger. I rolled my eyes at him because he knew the reason I had closed myself off to love and that was his way of trying to tell me that it was okay for me to open up again. Anyway, so that Christmas my dad gave me a replica of that ring and he made me promise that I would give it back to him the day I found my prince. But he said for right now, he would be my prince, until the right one came. It was the best gift I ever got." She said as she wiped a tear off her face. "The next year when they died it took me a long time to come to terms with the fact that they were really gone. Even though I could feel them sometimes and I have all these memories of them the fact is they are gone and there is nothing I do can replace them." She looked him straight in the eye know.

"Kate, I am so sorry." He started to say and she stopped him.

"Lex, don't blame yourself. Blame and resentment will only get you started on the path that I have seen you carve out for yourself ever since you killed your father." Lex looked at her in surprise, how the hell did she know about that, there was no one else there that night except Clark. "Lex, I can see it in your eyes every time you look at those clones. You think you can create this family that you never had but that isn't real. Don't worry, Lex I am not going to say anything, if he was my father I would have done the same thing, eventually."

Lex didn't know what to think. She has something on him now to hang over his head and he didn't like being the prey. He didn't know how long she had known but she obviously hasn't told anyone so far. Lex shifted uncomfortably away from her. She sensed his unease and scooted closer to him. "Lex, I would never intentionally wish anyone harm, I am Doctor and we have a code but I can believe that that man probably had you so twisted in knots that you could claim insanity! Look the point is that you have been through so much in your life that you deserve a break and this guilt you carry isn't going to help. Neither is running away from who you are and pretending that you have some new family with new memories. I wanted to run too when I lost my parents but you have to move forward." She said desperately trying to break through the walls she could tell he had erected upon learning that she knew his deepest secret.

He pulled away from her again and started pacing in front of the couch. "Well since it appears you know so much about me why don't you tell me what it is you want from me Doctor. You don't expect me to believe that you are going to keep my secrets for free do you? I mean did you bring me up here to blackmail me?" He stopped pacing and stared at her with a coldness that she had never seen in him before.

She got up from the couch and brought his eyes level with hers. It was important she make him see that she was sincere. "I know you may find this hard to believe Lex, but I don't want anything from you. I just want you to release the demons you have inside and allow yourself to be happy. And no, I did not bring you up here to blackmail you; I brought you up here to have a little fun. To get away from life for a while." She looked over at the television "…and to watch a Christmas Carol."

She said as she walked back to where she was sitting and patted the couch for him to come back and sit down. Lex looked at her and he could tell she was sincere but that paranoid voice inside him wouldn't let him believe what was right in front of him. All his life everyone was out to get something from him and here she was telling him she wanted nothing from him. She was offering to take his burden away and carry it herself. If he let himself, he knew he could get swept away in this dream and he was afraid that one day he would wake up and be burned as usual. He hesitantly walked over to the couch and sat down. He smiled at her and said. "Okay let's watch the movie, it's late and we have to get an early start tomorrow." She smiled at him and started the movie. She could tell he still wasn't sure what to do with what she had told him earlier but he was at least willing to try and accept what she was offering. That had to be enough for now.

Lex found the movie very interesting and almost too close to his own life for comfort. He had seen the ghost of his mother before showing him the future he could have had if he had decided to make the right choices two Christmas's ago. He didn't think it would be beyond possible that his Father, now dead would come back to haunt him as well and not just in his consciousness. He could also see Clark as the Ghost of Christmas present. He shook his head and smiled down at the angel that lay in his lap. Kate had fallen asleep halfway through the movie. He didn't want to wake her so he carefully got up from the couch and scooped her up in his arms. He brought her into the bedroom and laid her on the bed. He brushed a hair out of her faced and she stirred. She turned on her side toward him and he heard her mumble, "This is real, Lex, I am not going anywhere. It's not too late to change your destiny scrooge." And then she turned around again with her back toward him. He stared at her for a moment in disbelief. He knew she had a thing for him but until that moment he didn't know just how deep her feelings were. She was offering him the perfect gift but he didn't know if he could accept it. The truth was he didn't know whether he could fully let go of his past and be the person she deserved. He didn't have much fight left in him. Until today he was going to give into the darkness that consumed him and just accept that side of himself. After hurting everyone he was close to he really didn't want to hurt her. Lex shook his head and left her to her sleep. He walked into his bedroom and laid his head on the pillow. He didn't know if he could fight anymore but being here with her he felt as if he was so close to his dream that he could taste it and unlike the clones he had of his brother and mother in warehouse 303, she was real.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3: The Ghosts of Christmas

Lex awoke to the clock on the wall striking midnight. He popped out of bed and looked over at the window. The curtain was blowing in the wind and he walked over and looked at it in confusion. _I thought I closed the window?_ He shook his head thinking that maybe he was going crazy again. He closed the window and went back to the bed. He thought that maybe he was imagining the whole afternoon and evening with Kate so he looked around the room to get his bearings. He certainly wasn't at the Mansion but then again, he wasn't at the cabin either? Where the heck was he? He could feel the panic start to rise in his stomach and got out of the bed. He quickly rushed to the door and opened it. He stepped out of the bedroom and looked around. The place had a familiar feel. It was bigger than Kate's cabin and the kitchen smelled of homemade cookies. He was in his Grandma's cabin in Montana.

"Lex" he heard a voice whisper. He whipped around to see who it was and there in front of him was his mother.

"Oh, no, no not again mom. Why can't you just leave me alone? Whenever there is a slight chance that I could be happy you and dad are always there to remind that happiness is an illusion and that I will be chasing it the rest of my life never to attain it." He said as he backed away from her.

"Lex, that is not true son, I have been watching over you all this time. I know all the terrible things you have done and I know the guilt that you carry. You can be happy if you stop letting your fears get the best of you." She said as she floated across the floor. "I am here to remind you of a time when you were truly happy, son. A time when you didn't have the burden of your name to weigh you down. I want you to remember what that felt like."

Lex, watched Lillian as she floated toward the large front room where he could hear voices. "Alex, come over here by your grandma. I want to see how much you have grown over the past year."

Lex watched the scene in front of him. This was a memory he had long buried in the depths of his heart. His mother and grandparents always called him Alex. It was the Christmas before his mother killed his brother. She was still pregnant and his father was absent as usual. He was absent more and more as the pregnancy progressed and he was already starting to hate his father for deserting his mother in her time of need. His grandma was a short and stout woman with white hair and glasses. His grandfather was the opposite of his grandma in more ways than just looks. He was tall and slim and he had managed to maintain some red hair coloring in the midst of the white. He walked over to his grandma and sat in the chair next to her. His mother walked into the room looking beautiful in her red halter top and casual riding jeans. Of course her swollen belly only served to make her more gorgeous because it gave her a certain glow.

Little Lex was holding tightly onto her hand when he suddenly let go and ran over to his grandma. "Is it time, grandma, did Santa come? " He asked excitedly.

"Of course he did honey, and he brought you lots of gifts to open." His mother said sitting down on the floor next to him. Little Alex started to pass around the gifts and wasn't surprised that the majority were for him. He knew that his mother tried to compensate for the fact that he had no friends by giving him everything he wanted. His father on the other hand said that spoiling him would only make him think that all he had to do was ask and people would just hand him things. He said that Lex needed to learn the finer art of making deals. Lex began to rip open the gifts one by one and when he was done he thanked his grandma and grandpa for what they had gotten him. Alex patiently waited then for his grandma and grandpa to open their gifts. He was very observant and smart for a kid his age. He watched how tender and loving they were as a couple. It was always through simple gestures that they communicated their love for each other and Lex wished that his mother and father could be that way. He looked over at his mother as she teared up watching them give their thoughtful gifts probably thinking the same thing as Lex was. He couldn't believe that his father had been so thoughtless as to schedule a business meeting on Christmas Eve and then not even think to get his mother anything. Lex hoped that someday he would find someone and when he did that he would never treat her the way his father treated his mother.

"Alex, honey, there is one more gift for you," his mother said as she handed it to him. He looked at the tag and frowned. The tag said it was from his father but he knew better. He knew that if his father hadn't thought enough to get his mother anything then he certainly wouldn't think to get his son anything. He knew his mother would do things like that to make it easier on him when his father was absent. She didn't want him to be bitter so for her sake he tried not to be. He smiled at her and started to open it. He took it out of the small box and his mouth dropped. It was the perfect gift. He had been searching everywhere for this all year and couldn't get his hands on it. It was the 8th Special Edition Original publication of Warrior Angel. He didn't know how his mother had managed to find it but he knew she was behind such a thoughtful gift. If his father had actually taken the time to get him anything it would probably be socks. He ran over to his mother and put his arms around her.

"Thank you mom, it is the best gift ever."

His mom laughed and responded, "Well you will have to thank your father Alex, and it was his idea."

Lex broke the hug and rolled his eyes at her. "Mom, you don't have to cover for him. I know this was your idea and I just want you to know that this is the best Christmas I have had in a long time." He said with a big smile on his face.

His mother looked at him questioningly "Why is that, Alex?" He took her hand and she got up and he led her over to his grandma and grandpa. He gave them both a hug and said with a smile "Because everyone that loves me and everyone that I love back is right here in this room."

Lex struggled to fight back the tears as his mother floated over to him. "And the next year I lost everyone I loved. First you and Julian, then grandma and grandpa." He said as he looked at her.

Lillian brought her hand up to touch his face. "Lex, death is a part of life. Your father is going to visit you later and try to play on your fear of not being able to save the ones you love. I need you to know, Lex that you can't let him win again. You chose the wrong path with Lana because you were afraid of losing her but you lost her anyway. Don't make that mistake again. You have pushed everyone you care about away because you are afraid of getting hurt. You need to open yourself up and let yourself be happy. Don't let doubt get in your way. You are the only one stopping you from having what you have always wanted. No one can live forever, not even you but if we never take the risk of loving then we have already lost. You will die alone and no one will care. A life full of love is a life worth living son. My Christmas wish for you is that you will let yourself be loved" Lillian said as she started to float away from him.

Lex tried to reach out, "No mom, please come back, I need your help. I can't do it alone." He said running after her retreating form.

"You aren't alone anymore son. Let yourself love and be loved in return. It will all be worth it in the end. I promise." She said as she disappeared.

Lex tossed and turned as he startled awake. He was dripping with sweat and his vision was a little blurred as his eyes adjusted to the dim light in the room. He sighed, "I am back at the cabin." He said to himself. He couldn't believe what just happened? Why couldn't his mother let sleeping dogs lie? Did she say he was going to be seeing his dad soon? What was this a horror version of the Christmas Carol? He laid his head back down and the pillow but he had a bad feeling that he wouldn't be sleeping for very long.

The clock struck 2:00 a.m. when Lex felt a hand on his arm rustling him to wake up. He rolled over and sat up on the bed. He rubbed his eyes and saw a smiling angel looking down on him. "Lana" he asked sitting up in the bed trying to touch her but feeling his hand go right through her skin.

"Shh Lex, I am not really here. I am a formation of your imagination." She said to him as he got out of the bed.

"But this is impossible; you aren't dead, are you?" He asked. She took him by the hand and started to walk towards the wall.

"No, Lex I am not dead. I am here in your dreams and I am here to take you to the Christmas party at the Kent's so you can see how your decisions have affected those around you."

"Lana, you are about to walk through that wall. Are you sure you are not here to try and knock me out like the last time we met?" He said shaking his head remembering the day Lana showed up at his lab with her superpowers. Lana laughed and proceeded to melt through the wall as he followed.

"No Lex, I don't have superpowers anymore but anything is possible in your dreams. "She said winking at him as they stepped into the Kent house. Lex could see the place decorated with lights and fig and mistletoe. He heard laughter and saw Clark on a stool attempting to put the star on the tree. Chloe was trying to catch him and she stepped back as he fell knowing very well he would smash her in an instant. He saw Lana there sitting on the couch with hot chocolate and Lois sitting next to her on one side. Mrs. Kent came walking in with her famous cookies and laid them on the table.

Lex leaned into Lana's ear and whispered, "Can they hear us or see us?" Lana shook her head no and pointed to the scene in front of them.

"You know Lex and I have had our disagreements over the last two years but I never thought he would be the one to murder his own father." Clark said as he went to sit down next to Lana and Chloe sat on the other side next to Mrs. Kent. "Clark I know you always try to see the good in people but Lex is not the friend you used to know. He has given into to his dark side and there isn't any way to pull him back." Mrs. Kent replied.

Clark looked down and fidgeted with his hands. "I just can't help feeling that I gave up on him too quickly. Maybe he just needed some guidance. I mean let's face it as good as Lionel turned out to be he was a horrible father to Lex."

Chloe chimed in, "If you ask me they were both monsters. I mean look what they did to Lana. Although something tells me there is more to the story then we know." Lana looked up at her annoyed that Chloe's reporter instinct had crept up again and she couldn't let it go.

"Chloe, I really don't want to discuss my relationship with Lex. I trusted him and he betrayed me. Then when I found out about Clark I decided I couldn't marry him and then Lionel blackmailed me." She said as she got up and stood by the fireplace and sighed. "Lex hurt me very deeply but I don't hate him, at least not anymore. I wanted so much to get revenge on him for hurting me that I didn't see the cycle that I was falling into. Lex has so many insecurities that he hides and I know we all do but he and I both let them get the best of us. Loving someone makes you fearful of losing them and if you let that fear take over you do a lot of things you wouldn't normally do. The fear turns to pain and the pain turns to desperation and the desperation turns to revenge and before you know it your caught up in a game whether you want to play or not." Lana turned to face everyone and sighed again. "No, I don't hate him; I pity him. I mean he has been fighting his destiny alone for so long and has had no one to stand by him that it seems now he has just giving up and giving in. I couldn't give him what he wanted but I hope someday he finds someone who can." She said sitting back down on the couch.

"Lana are u crazy, no will love him now, he's a liar and a murderer! He doesn't have a chance in hell and I think he did it to himself." Chloe said in a frustrated tone.

"As much as I hate to say it Lana, I think Chloe is right. I mean I know Lex didn't have the best childhood but we all tried to help him at one point or another and all he did was reject us. What did he expect would happen?" Clark said. Lana shook her head and glared at Chloe and Clark. She couldn't believe these people once claimed to be Lex's friends and they were talking about him like he was their enemy now. I mean sure he had betrayed her trust but it was only because he didn't want to lose her and none of them really knew the truth. "I can't believe both of you. It is Christmas Eve and you are all sitting around here condemning someone that really needs forgiveness. I of all people have been the most hurt by him but I understand him more than any of you. Maybe I am more like him then I am like you. All you two see is black and white in a world that is grey and sometimes lines have to be crossed. Lex deserves to have love in his life just like the rest of us and this Christmas I hope that he gets it. I don't care what either of you say." Lana started to walk toward the door and turned back to look at Clark, "You should be ashamed of yourself Clark, he was your friend and he looked up to you and all you did was throw his mistakes in face. I think maybe you did give up on him too soon. I am going to get some air and when I come back I really don't want to discuss Lex with any of you anymore. I hope we can just enjoy this great party Mrs. Kent put together and forget about him." Lana said as she pushed the door open and stepped out into the cold.

Clark and Chloe stood there dumbfounded with their mouths hanging half open, "What's gotten into her. The way she was acting you'd think she still had a thing for him." Said Chloe as she looked over at Clark.

Clark rubbed the back of his head with his hands feeling guilty and confused at the same time, "I think her and Lex just had a very complicated relationship." He said not wanting to admit that maybe Chloe was right.

Meanwhile, Lex had been standing in the background with Lana's apparition the whole time. He was touched that Lana would stand up for him after all that he had done to her and wished so badly that he could kiss her.

"Lana, I am so sorry for everything. I am sorry I couldn't be the man you needed me to be. I wished we could've made it work." He said as the tears were welling up in his eyes. Lana took him by the hand and led him backward through the wall again. Suddenly, just as quickly as they had exited the bedroom he was sleeping in earlier that night, they were back in in the same bedroom again.

She put her hand on his face and whispered into his ear, "I am sorry I couldn't be what you needed me to be, my Christmas wish for you is that you find someone who can love you the way I couldn't." She said.

"Lana…." he whispered… but he was too late. She had vanished in thin air. She was gone and he was now left with his thoughts. She had loved him and she had understood. She just couldn't forgive him for his betrayal. Lex felt a headache coming but he didn't want to leave the room because he thought he might disturb Kate who had been sleeping down the hall. He sat down on the bed and looked over at the clock. 3:00 a.m. –he hoped he could get some shut before he had to face the last of his demons. He wasn't looking forward to a confrontation with the ghost of his father but somehow he knew it was coming. His father would be the final ghost to visit him tonight.

The clock struck 4:00 a.m. and Lex startled awake to hear screaming coming from the bathroom. He bolted out of bed and ran down the hall only to stop dead in his tracks. _Wait, this isn't the Cabin. This is the Mansion. He thought, what am I doing here?"_ He walked to the top of the stairs where he saw himself holding Kate as she was weeping in the bathroom with blood all over the floor. Lex stood there looking at the scene in front of him.

"Kate what happened, please talk to me." The vision of Lex said as he kept holding Kate in his arms.

"Lex, I could feel them and I couldn't stop them. The contractions they were coming way too soon and I knew something wasn't right. I tried everything I knew how to as a doctor I was trying to focus on what I knew. " Lex could barely understand her in between her sobs. "I got out of bed to call you and then it happened…the baby is gone Lex, its gone. I am so sorry I couldn't hold on." She cried harder and he held her tighter.

"Shh…shh it's okay this isn't your fault Kate." He answered her barely able to control his own emotions.

"It is Lex, I am Doctor I should have known something was wrong with my own child. It took us so long just for me pregnant and now….now it's gone." she said. Lex didn't know what to say. He was never very good with comfort. He remembered the time he went through this with Lana. Back then he felt guilt over pretending to feel something for a baby that was never really lost. But this….this was so much worse because there had been a baby inside. He had felt it kick and it was so real to him. Now it was gone an instant and he felt so lost. All he could do was hold her while she cried and try to push down the pain that threatened to overwhelm him.

The real Lex watched the scene in front of him as tears streamed down his face. He wiped his eyes and looked around the room. "Alright Dad, you can come out now. I know you're here and I know what you are trying to show me." He said. Lionel came out from the shadows behind Lex and put his hand on his shoulder.

"Son, you have it all wrong." Lex squirmed at his touch and veered around with same look of anger and hatred he had the night he pushed Lionel out the window and to his death.

"What I am misunderstanding this time dad? Every time, I get close to having the love I have always craved, the love you could never give me, you come along and show me how undeserving I am. You've shown me this only to tell me that if I love then I will lose everything." He said barely able to contain himself from pushing his father out another window.

"Lex, I know that I have been a terrible father to you in life and for that I am truly sorry. I could never let myself love you because I too let my fears get in the way. I had lost your mother, I lost Julian and I couldn't bear getting close to you for fear of losing you as well. Although, pushing you away wasn't the answer either." Lionel said as he walked in front of Lex.

"Spare the apologies dad. You really expect me to believe that deep down you loved me after all the terrible things you have done to me?" he spat.

"Just the way you really loved Lana even though you burdened her with a fake pregnancy? You and I aren't that different son and that is what scared me. I didn't know how to reach you because you had gone to a darker place then I ever did. I realize my parenting skills were lacking Lex but I am here now to tell you that you have to fight this. If you end up like me you end up alone and bitter and you deserve better." Lionel told him. "Follow me." He said as he led him down the stairs and through the back door of the mansion out to the gardens and up to the burial grounds just beyond the borders to the mansion.

There in front of was a lone grave site on a hill and a pastor tending to it with some nuns. "It's too bad he didn't have anyone at his funeral. Not one soul. I didn't even give a eulogy. I just took the casket and buried it in this here hole in the ground and that was that." The pastor said shaking his head.

"I hear he died of a broken heart. Towards the end he was a hermit. Locked himself in that tower of his and worked day in and day out until his heart couldn't take it anymore," said one of the nuns as she placed flowers on the grave.

"I heard he had a someone but she couldn't stand the fact that all he cared about was his work. He was always at his office so she just left him one day. That was that," said the other nun. All three of the figures turned and started walking away from the site and only then did Lex see the name inscribed on the head stone. LEX LUTHOR 1978-2025.

Lex shook his head in disbelief, "What about Kate, I thought we were married, we were going to have a child."

"You never let her in Lex, you never let her love you." You pushed her away until she couldn't take it anymore and she just left. You never had a chance to tell her how you really felt." Lionel told him sadly. Lex couldn't take it anymore.

"Dad, I have had enough. This is unbelievable! You are telling me I damned if I do and damned if I don't" he said as he grabbed his father by the collar and looked him straight in the eye. For first time in his life Lex saw a stray tear roll down his father's eyes.

"What are you going to do son, kill me? Oh that's right you already did." He said pushing Lex off him. "Son, I know I was not a good father to you but all this isn't to cause you pain. I have one more thing to show you before I have to go. He grabbed Lex by the arm and pulled him back down toward the Mansion. Lex tried to resist but his father's grip on him was tight.

"Dad, I have seen enough pain to last me two lifetimes…" He stopped in his tracks as his father opened the door and he saw two children running down the stairs and laughing.

"Alex and Lilly, don't you dare run down those stairs. You will trip!" Kate said as she came down the stairs after them. He looked at the scene in front of him and he felt as though he had to catch his breath. Kate was dressed in an emerald green velvet V-neck dress that came just above the knee and her long red hair framed her blue eyes perfectly. Even though she looked to be in her early 40's she was still as beautiful as the first time he saw her at the medical conference. She also had a small baby that looked to be about one years old that she was holding on her hip. They walked into Lex's study where there was a large Christmas tree decorated with all the trimmings and lots of presents placed under it. Alex and Lilly were sitting on the floor playing with another dark haired girl that looked unmistakably like Lana and they were probably all the same age. Lex guessed about 5 years old. Kate had walked over to the bar and handed the baby to Lex while he was talking to Lois who was there with Mrs. Kent while Clark was following around a toddler who it appeared had just learned to walk. Then there was Chloe and Jimmy and Chloe looked like she was going to pop a baby out any second talking in the corner with Lana and…was that Oliver Queen? Lex couldn't believe what he was seeing.

"Attention everyone" Lex said as he handed the baby back to Kate and knocked his glass with his fork. Everyone gathered round the tree as Lex continued. "I just want to make a toast. A toast to my beautiful wife who has given me three beautiful children. A toast to my wonderful friends and there wonderful families. You know if someone had told me 15 years ago that we would all be here together in the same room without bullets flying, misunderstanding and betrayals and in the midst of it all Clark saving the day, I would have laughed in their face. It may have taken me a long time to finally put aside my fears and accept the love of a women who always saw the best in me even when I couldn't see it in myself but when I finally did I also learned to accept the love of my friends that I had lost so long ago." Lex smiled and lifted his glass. "Thank you to everyone in this room for making my Christmas wish come true. Merry Christmas everyone." He said as he drank and everyone clapped at his speech.

Lex stood by the entrance to the study with his father trying to digest what was going on. "I don't understand dad, I thought my life ended in tragedy. Everyone dies or leaves and I am alone. Isn't that my destiny?" He asked with a confused frown on his face.

Lionel turned to him as said "No, son that will only be your destiny if you can't learn to let go of your fears and let love in. Yes, you will lose a child but you and Kate will find your way back and end up with three children. She can help you find your way back to your friends and you both can live a happy life. Pain is a part of life but I learned to late that pushing people away because you are afraid to lose them will only guarantee that they will never be yours. No matter how short or long the time frame. I pushed you away and in the end I lost you to the darkness." Lex swallowed the lump in his throat and did his best to prevent the tears from spilling out. His hands were trembling as his dad reached out to hold one of them in his own. "I forgive you for what you did to me son. I deserved far worse and believe me I am paying for my sins in the depths of hades. You have one more chance to get it right son, before you will end up like me, forever. I release you from your guilt so go and find the love you deserve. That is my Christmas wish for you." Lionel gave one last squeeze of his son's hand and vanished.

Lex was once again in the bedroom in the cabin and he could hear whispers outside his bedroom. Lex looked at the clock again and saw that it was only 6:30 a.m. He laid his head back on the pillow and let the tears drain from his eyes as he felt a heavy burden had been lifted from his heart.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4: Wishes come true

When Lex finally woke up he looked at the clock and found that it was already 10:00 a.m. He wasn't sure why Kate had let him sleep in but he thought they were planning on leaving early. He put on his slacks and a sweater and walked out of the bedroom. He saw Kate sitting at the table in the kitchen with a strange man. He looked about 10 years older than them and he had sandy blonde hair and sat pretty tall. Lex guessed about 6 ft. tall. Kate saw him walking toward them and got out of her seat and to give him a hug.

"Hey there sleepy head, I thought I was going to have to bring in the heavy artillery to wake you this morning. When I went outside to try and get the car started I found 10 feet of snow. It must have started last night and it hasn't stopped since. So I decided to let you sleep because we obviously aren't going anywhere today!" she said as she took Lex by the arm and lead him to sit. "This is my brothe Kyle, Kyle this Lex Luthor, my boss" she said and then looked down in embarrassment. "And my friend" she added quickly.

Kyle got up out his chair and shook Lex's hand. "It's nice to finally meet you Lex, Kate's told me a lot about you I feel like I know you." He said.

"Well only good things I hope, although I am not sure there is much good left." He said quickly as they all sat down. "So tell me if there was such a bad storm how did you get here so early?" Lex asked.

"Oh well, I took the helicopter in. I actually live up in Canada where I manage all of mom and dad's companies up there so were used to braving the storms." Kyle replied. Lex looked at him and nodded.

Kate stood up and grabbed the axe that was lying near the stove."I am going to go out and chop some more wood for the fire, we are running a bit low and something tells me we are going to need a lot more to get us through the night." She said as Lex stood up to help her.

He looked at her and smirked, "Kate don't you think you should let a man handle that thing. It might be a bit heavy and the trees aren't going to be falling like leaves in this weather." He said as Kate put on her hat and gloves. She looked at Kyle who was trying to keep from laughing.

"Lex, this is a side of Kate that you haven't seen. Not many people have actually but she is more than capable of handling that axe." Kyle replied. Lex looked back and forth between Kate and Kyle with a confused look on his face,"Am I missing something here?"

Kate couldn't hold it in anymore and let out a big laugh. "Miss Wood Chop champion from 2002-2005." She said. It used to be called mister until I entered the contest. First female to enter and win. It's all in the form you don't actually need much strength, just precision." She said proudly.

Lex smirked at her again. "Okay, Okay I concede, who needs superman when you have wonder women right here." Lex said as she rolled her eyes at him.

"Well glad I could be of service" she replied slapping him on the arm. Kate opened the door and let a gust of wind inside and then closed the door behind her. Lex stood by the door watching her still not completely convinced she could chop firewood with 50 mile an hour winds blowing all over. He sighed and stared out the window. Kyle looked at Lex and couldn't help but get the feeling that his sister's feelings for the bald billionaire weren't unrequited as she had always insisted to him.

"She's something else isn't she?" Kyle said.

Lex looked at him and stepped away from the window. "Yeah she is. She never stops seeing the good in things and people. I think that's why her research so amazing." He said as he went to sit back down at the table.

"Yeah most of the time she's too trusting and ends up getting hurt. I hope that's not your, intention Mr. Luthor. Kate deserves someone who will always be there for her and not leave when things get tough. "Kyle said.

Lex heard his tone change and he actually though it was sweet that her older brother was trying to protect her. "I can assure you Kyle that Kate and I are very good friends and I intend to keep it that way. She has been there for me when everyone else has turned their back and I don't take that lightly." Lex said trying to be cautious with his words.

"Is that all you are Lex, is just friends? Maybe if you heard the way that Kate talks about you, you would know that her feelings for you go much deeper than that." Kyle cocked his eyebrow questioningly.

Lex shifted uncomfortably. "Look, Kyle, Kate is a smart and beautiful woman but I agree with you that she deserves someone better. I am actually quite shocked that she hasn't been caught up by someone already." He said. He really didn't want to get into his feelings for Kate without discussing it with her first.

"Well Kate is a lot like me Lex. She gets very passionate about her work and doesn't leave much time for anything else. It's her way of escaping. You see, when she was a first year med student she met a rich billionaire much like yourself. Although they were both young then and liked to party they had a lot in common and she fell for him hard. They were getting very serious and she hoped he would propose. Until one day she found out that she was pregnant. She told him about it hoping he would finally pop the question and he told her he didn't want anything to do with her or the baby. He thought she had done it on purpose to trap him and he had no interest in settling down. She was heartbroken and didn't know what to do. Our parents were very strict Catholics and probably would have cut her out of their fortune if she had kept the baby. So she terminated the pregnancy. She was devastated because as a Doctor she knew that she had taken a life and she has lived with that guilt ever since." Kyle got up from the table and started to pace. "She doesn't believe she deserves to be loved after what she did so she has closed herself off to anyone who tries to get close. Except you. She actually fell for you without even trying."

Lex sat there trying to digest everything Kyle was telling him. How could such a caring soul feel unworthy? He realized for the first time that maybe they both needed to be saved. They both carried around this guilt that no one knew and they were both afraid to lose. It all made sense to him now. The reason why they had always felt drawn to each other, the reason she could understand his own darkness was because she too was living it. Although you'd never know it the way she wears her heart on sleeve. That's just it though she was seeking redemption for a sin she thought committed.

"Lex, don't make the same mistake I have. Don't push love out because you are afraid. My wife and I and our two children usually spend our Christmas in Canada with her family. Sometimes Kate joins us and other times she comes here. Anyway, I have spent so much time on my own work that I have pushed my family away and this is the second Christmas I have spent without them. The house was so empty I had to get out for a little while. I was hoping for a Christmas miracle and that maybe we could work it out." Kyle shook his head and looked back at Lex from the doorway. "The point is that you and Kate will spend the rest of your lives alone if you both don't let go of whatever is weighing you down and just love each other." He said just as he opened the door and Kate walked in with a bundle of firewood in her hand.

"Hey guys, sorry I took so long. The wind was definitely a problem but I got us enough firewood to last us the night." She stepped in the door and took off her hat and gloves. Lex stood up and walked over to her and took the firewood from her hands. He stared in her eyes for a moment trying to find some indication of her pain but all he could see was the love she was trying so hard not to show. He was really amazed at her capacity to forget her own problems and care so much about his enough to bring him here to forget. He felt the overwhelming urge to hold her and tell her that he had seen their future and that he knew everything would turn out alright so there was no reason to be afraid. But he knew it wasn't that easy. Besides she'd probably think he was losing his mind talking about ghosts. Kate looked in his eyes for what felt like an eternity. She couldn't fully read the expression on his face but she could tell that the weight that had been holding him down was lifted and for the first time in a long time she could see hope in his eyes.

"Hmmm" Kyle cleared his throat and interrupted their thoughts. "Well I don't know about you but it wouldn't be Christmas without watching a Christmas Carol. What do you say Kate, Lex you up for it?" he said as he walked over to the living room. Lex took the firewood and put it in the fireplace to keep it from dying.

"Well we watched it yesterday but I did fall asleep so I wouldn't mind seeing it this time around. That is of course if you don't mind watching it again Lex?" Kate said as she took a seat on the floor. Lex sat on the chair next to Kate and shook his head no and put his hand on his forehead.

"Kate, I don't know what it is with you and that movie but after the dream I had last night I would just assume skip it tonight." He said.

Kate looked at him questioningly, "Why, you said last night that you liked it? What did you dream about last night?"

Lex looked at her not really wanting to relive it and especially because he wasn't quite sure it was a dream he said, "I'd really rather not talk about it but I would okay with any other choices. I was never really into movies as a child as I preferred to read so I'll trust your choices since this is all new to me."

Kate smiled at him as she imagined this little nerdy child with glasses reading in the library instead of having fun with other kids. She really felt like he had such a sheltered childhood and yet he was wise beyond his years. She figured it was a result of growing up too fast. "Alright then how about a Christmas Story-that's a classic. And that little boy who plays Ralphie is so cute!" She squealed and Kyle couldn't help but smile. He knew Kate would make a great mother someday. Not only did she get excited about real children but she was a sucker for the fictional ones too.

The day went by fairly quickly as they ended up watching two Christmas movies and then found themselves engulfed in a game of chess as the clock struck 8:00 p.m. Kyle yawned and looked at Kate and Lex. They looked quite tired even though they hadn't done much but something told him that the secret feelings they were hiding from each other weighed them down even more than the sleepless night they had last night. Kyle could cut the sexual tension between the two with a knife from the moment he arrived at the cabin this morning. Kyle really hoped that his sister could find happiness with someone who would take care of her and not abandoned her again. He had heard stories about Lex Luthor from the media and he knew the man could be cruel if he wanted to. When he first realized that Kate had feelings for Lex he was worried that he would use her and break her heart again or else that he would manipulate her and her work with him for his own purposes but so far neither one had happened and the man sitting in front of him now was not the man he read about in the paper. He suspected that had a lot to do with Kate. He wished for their sake that this Christmas they could find a miracle. He got up from his seat and walked over to the Christmas tree.

"Kate, before I turn in for the night, it is Christmas and I did bring you something so, here it is from your big brother. He picked up a small package and handed it to her.

"Kyle you didn't have to. I actually sent your gift in the mail with Janet's and the kids. I didn't know I'd be seeing you this Christmas." She said as she took the gift and started to open it. She took out the picture frame and looked at it trying to hold back the tears welling up in her eyes. It was a stone statue of St. Raphael-the patron saint of soulmates and in the middle a heart was carved out where there was a picture of her mother and father on their wedding day.

"Oh Kyle, it's beautiful, thank you so much." She cried as she stood up to hug him.

"I hope you find love, that's my Christmas wish for you." He whispered in her ear as he hugged her tightly. He broke the hug and turned to Lex who was standing up and took his hand again.

"Lex, I am sorry I don't have anything for you. I had no idea Kate would have a guest here. Although, what can you get the man who has it all." Kyle said jokingly.

Lex shook Kyle's hand but he was looking right past him at Kate. "I don't have everything, Kyle. But thank you there is no need to worry. It was nice to meet you." He said. Kyle turned and walked down the hall to the third bedroom when Lex called out to him and he turned around to face him. "Kyle, I hope you find your way back to your wife and children as well." Kyle just nodded in a thank you and turned and walked into the bedroom leaving Lex and Kate alone.

Lex took the picture frame out of her hand and looked at it. "So these are your parent huh? They look happy."

Kate bent down under the tree and picked up another present. "Yeah they were. I always said that if I was ever lucky enough to find my soulmate like they did I would hold on and never let go no matter what. Out of the 6 million people in this world not everyone finds their other half." She said as she took the frame back from him and put it under the tree. She walked over to the couch and gestured to him to come and sit next to her. "Look, Lex I know you are not exactly the Christmas type but I am really glad you came with me this weekend. I really didn't feel like being alone." She said to him as she took his hands in hers.

Lex could feel the warmth from her hands piercing through his body and he didn't know how much longer he could continue this act of not feeling anything when just being around her made him feel more than he wanted to. He smiled at her and said, "Kate, you should be proud, you accomplished your mission. You wanted me to have fun and I did. For the first time in a long time I felt the weight of the world has been lifted off my shoulders." He said. S

he smiled back at him, "Good! But this night wouldn't be complete without me giving you your Christmas gift." She handed him the package that was in her hand. He looked at it and then looked at her. He didn't expect anything from this weekend but he got so much more than he could ever imagine.

He swallowed hard, "Kate you didn't have to do this. Just coming here is good enough. Just being here with you. I don't have anything for you."

She put her finger on his lips to stop him. "Lex, just open it. I know I didn't have to but I wanted to. I told you before I don't want anything from you." She said as he tore the wrapping paper open like an excited little child. When he saw what was inside his mouth dropped open in shock. It was the rare 8th edition of Warrior Angel. The original copy that his mom had gotten him the last Christmas they were all together. It was right after the edition where Warrior Angel's girlfriend dies and he goes into a dark place and the only person who can bring him back was his best friend and former side kick Flash. Lex had been searching for years for this issue and kept coming up empty handed. He couldn't believe that she had thought that much of him.

"Kate" he whispered her name.

She put her hands on his face and smiled, "You told me once that you grew up and didn't believe in this stuff anymore. I didn't really understand why but when I heard about how your friendship with Clark had deteriorated I realized that's why you stopped believing. I just thought this might help you remember again."

Lex could feel her breath on his lips and he knew he couldn't fight it anymore. He pulled her to him kissed her gently at first but more hungry the longer their lips were together. She slid her tongue against his lips begging him to open up to her and he complied. He slid his hands down her neck and she shuddered. Before she realized what she was doing she pushed him down on the couch and laid herself on top of him. Lex let his hands slide down her back onto her buttocks as she pulled out of the kiss. She looked at him for a moment and realized what had happened. She didn't want just one night with him and she may have lied when she said she didn't want anything from him. She did; she wanted his love forever.

She looked at him in surprise, "I am so sorry, I can't do this," she said as she got up off the couch quickly and started to walk toward the bedroom. Lex was very confused and he got up and followed her and grabbed her arm to stop her. "Kate, I am sorry I thought this what you wanted I …"

"Lex, it's okay it's not you I just, I can't let myself get caught up in a whirlwind romance and then be disappointed again. I am sorry I thought I was ready." She said as she looked up at him with tears in her eyes. Lex understood what she meant. She thought that he was going to leave her like everyone else in her life had. Even though she told him she wanted nothing from him she really did. Yesterday he wasn't sure if he could give her what she wanted but now after everything that has happened he was sure he could. They wanted the same thing and could never find it…until now.

"Kate, I know about what happen to you in med school. I promise you I won't leave if you don't leave me." He took his hand and wiped a tear off her face. "You and I are afraid of the same things. Maybe it's time to just let it go and let love in. For the first time in my life I feel like I have something to live for and that's because of you. Kate I am going to ask you again and I want an honest answer this time. What do you want from me?" he looked at her with so much longing in his eyes she couldn't help but to tell him the truth.

"I want you to let me love you Lex, and I want you to love me." She said. That was all he needed to hear. He crashed his lips onto hers and pushed her backwards and closed the door behind them.

The next morning the sun was peeking through the blinds as Kate opened her eyes. She could feel his strong arms around hers and she turned to face him."Well hello there, now whose the sleepy head." He said as he gave her a smile. She could feel his hands on her hips and their bare skin against the sheets and she looked into his eyes.

"Well you gave me quite a workout last night. I guess I should have figured that a playboy like you would have a lot of stamina." She joked. He smirked and she could feel his hands under the sheets glide down in between her legs.

"Lex" she whispered as he took her mouth in his. She felt his hunger all over again and his arousal was evident. She felt his hands rub against her sensitive opening as they slid inside her. At the same time she felt his tongue making the same circular motions as his hands and she couldn't control the sensations he was creating inside her. She slid her hand down to feel his arousal. She cupped him and started sliding her hand back and forth all the while never breaking their hungry kiss. Her motions started to speed up along with his as they could both feel the heat building up inside them. She started contracting first and then Lex began pulsing in her hand until both of them felt release at the same time. She caught hold of her breathing and opened her eyes to look at him again and she could see the fire that he had even now. She smiled at him and moved her hand up to his chest.

"Well nothing says good morning like a little passionate foreplay!" she said and she winked at him. "Unfortunately though we do have to get back to Smallville and our research. I think we can activate Model 506 later this week." She looked at him hesitantly and then added, "If that's what you still want."

Lex cupped her chin and leaned in to kiss her gently. He broke the kiss and looked deep in her eyes and smiled. "I think I have everything I need right here. Besides something tells me we are going to have plenty of family and friends around us in the future." He said.

She cocked her eyebrow and asked "What makes you so sure?" He laughed and got out of the bed and started to get dressed. "I'll tell you all about my dream on the way home. Right now I need to pack the car up." Lex said.

Kate got out of bed and started to get dressed as well. When they were both ready they left the bedroom and walked down the hall. Kate saw the scene in front of her and grabbed Lex's arm to stop him. Lex looked back at her questioningly, "That's Janet, my brother's wife." She said. Lex nodded in understanding as they stood there and watched. Kyle was holding Janet tenderly in his arms as she let her tears fall. It took a few minutes but she finally stopped crying and he kissed her on the forehead.

Kate grabbed onto Lex's hand and walked into the living room. "Well, isn't this a surprise." She said as she smiled and embraced Janet in a hug.

"The best Christmas gift ever. I got my family back." Kyle said as he winked at Janet. Kate turned around and introduced Lex to Janet and then turned to Kyle and said"So I guess this means the two of you will be staying here for a few more days?"

"It looks like it-Janet said her parents are watching the boys while she came here to find me." He replied.

Kate patted her brother on the shoulder. "Well big brother it looks like everyone got their Christmas wish this year!"

Kyle put his arm around her and whispered, "I love you sis, mom and dad would be proud…of both of you." He said nodding over at Lex in acknowledgement. Kate embraced her brother one more time and said.

"They'd be proud of you too, Kyle. Don't be a stranger." Lex took their bags from the living room and walked to the door. "It was nice meeting both and I hope we can see more of each other soon." He nodded at both of them and kissed Kate on the forehead.

Kate took Lex by hand and said her final goodbye as they walked out to the car. Lex put the bags in the trunk of the Porsche and got in the driver's seat. He looked over at Kate and said "They make a nice couple." Kate smiled at him and took his hand in hers. "Yeah, they have some issues to work out but, I think they'll make it. I think this was probably one of the best Christmas's we've ever had!"

Lex took her hand and kissed it. "You gave me the best Christmas gift anyone could ever get, another chance at love. I don't think I'll ever look at this holiday the same way again." He said. As the two sped down the road to home the clouds parted and Lilian smiled down at her son from above. _He finally made the right choice_ she said as she sighed. She could finally rest in peace now knowing that her son was going to be okay.


End file.
